Last fall, Meryl Streep announced that she and her husband, Don Gummer, had been separated for more than six years, unknown to anyone outside of their relationships. The news was announced during Jada Pinkett Smith's book tour, during which she revealed that, aside from her public displays of fierce loyalty, she and her husband Will Smith revealed that they have been living separate lives since 2016. The biggest revelation of all was that it was still possible to keep her secret. .
In an age where it seems like everyone from elite athletes to middle schoolers are constantly baring their souls on social media, people, even those in the public eye, have a lot of questions about their lives. The idea that you can keep aspects of yourself private is kind of something. Relief. At the same time, is discretionary power really still within our control, especially for people with public profiles, or is it now the result of pure luck that it rarely happens? Long gone are the days when FDR could hide the fact that he used a wheelchair from the public. But conversations with behind-the-scenes image-makers (publicists, journalists, social observers of all kinds) reveal that there are actually more strategies than ever to keep secrets hidden in plain sight. became. Privacy Welcome to his playbook.
Consider Jennifer Aniston. When was the last time you heard rumors about her? Her public appearances are carefully orchestrated. Access to her is strictly controlled. Last winter, when she revealed in an interview that she had spent her late 30s and 40s trying to have her child, it became news to her legion of fans. They may have speculated about such things, but she had no information until she made her decision. To give it. “I think it's funny when someone complains that they just want to be left alone. Okay, Greta Garbo!” said Paula Froehlich, a former Page Six reporter and current correspondent for NewsNation. To tell. “If you want to be discreet, you absolutely can.”
But how?
First, a warning. It's hard for people who work hard at so much to switch gears when it's convenient and then suddenly step back into their privacy. “If you want to be private, you have to be private from the beginning,” says a top Hollywood publicist. That means distancing yourself from social media or even shutting it down completely. In the case of a bold name, that means avoiding locations known for paparazzi lingering, such as Giorgio Baldi and The Ivy in Los Angeles or Carota Street in New York, and having the expensive layer of protection that comes with hiring a personal publicist. To do.
Indeed, once new york daily news Gossip columnist Ben Widdicombe says, “The more powerful your name, the more the role of your personal publicist becomes a gatekeeper, keeping you out of the public eye.'' We believe that a rep's job is to promote a client and get their name everywhere, but once they achieve a certain level of success, a publicist's job is to make that name more of an exclusive commodity and advertise it in fewer places. , adds mystery and protects client confidentiality.”
The truth is, there are more secrets that celebrities are keeping than ever before that we don't know about. Old secrets like cheating and drug abuse still exist, but these days plastic surgery and related appearance-enhancing drugs are also at the top of the list, chief among them the use of Ozempic. “The hotels where people go for plastic surgery and maintenance, the times they go, and the length of their stays are carefully calibrated,” says an A-List spokesperson.
Pregnancy secrets are all the rage these days. Paris Hilton gave birth to one child and then a second in less than a year, surprising even her family (which, of course, made for great television). Kylie Jenner famously refused to acknowledge reports about her first pregnancy until she gave birth to her daughter Stormi. Mindy Kaling has announced that she has given birth to her second child seven weeks after her birth, but has not revealed who the child's biological father is. (In 2000, Melissa Ethridge memorably revealed that David Crosby had been the sperm donor for her two children with partner Julie Cypher, saying, “We're not going to keep this secret.'' I'm tired of it,” he said.
Just as PR people have long planted rumors for publicity purposes, Widdicombe recalls. best '' came out, a publicist said, “We spread rumors that Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton were having an affair on set, which to my knowledge was untrue.'') They accused them of misdirection. He is also a master. When a client has a story they don't want to share, a good publicist knows the public can be distracted with other things. However, one spokesperson says, “The days of being able to trade horses are over.'' provide certain gossip items to the press in exchange for not publishing others). Instead, “a lot of it is about messaging and different narratives. Sometimes, 'Squirrel! Look at me!'”
As an example, the spokesperson said: “Recently, two very famous people who were having an affair were locked up in a hotel, and two other very famous people were asked to come out the front door, and the adulterous couple were forced to come out the back door. I got it.’” Fröhlich says. “Every major location has a back door, so it's a big deal for people who are 'accidentally' caught coming out of Sunset Tower or San Vicente Bungalows.”
The spokesperson further added, “There's a lot of badmouthing about other things and other customers. I planted DeuxMoi with what's fake and what's not fake.” Just to get it out there, if you do that. Because you can dress more journalistically.peoplethen invites comments.
Having a trusted inner circle is also important for people who don't want to hang out dirty laundry. “There have always been celebrities who never get talked about, and there are several reasons for that,” Fröhlich says. “One is that she treats the staff and others very kindly.” Princess Diana was so loved by her staff that they would sneak her children out of the palace (to go to McDonald's). But he also helped get his lover, Hasnat Khan, out of the palace – reportedly taking him to the front door of Princess Margaret's house after she refused to use the CCTV cameras. . Cameras were installed there, and later cameras were installed in the palace as well. (Charles' staff was another story.)
People who don't treat their staff well are often just one court case away from having their secrets revealed. Mariah Carey, Victoria Principal, Chris Brown, and LeAnn Rimes have all been sued by former housekeepers. Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis, the late Lisa Marie Presley, Usher, Halsey, Alanis Morissette, and yes, Mariah Carey have been sued numerous times by her nannies, some of whom (well) Some people (including Mariah) have been sued multiple times. And that doesn't even include the people the staff criticized harshly in the press.
Compare that to people like Aniston, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyoncé, and Cate Blanchett. Their names only appear in gossip columns very strategically. When you look at their name, there's a reason for it, and it usually has something to do with what they're promoting. Froehlich said these types are generally “not looking for a PR opportunity.”
Your inner circle extends to your friends as well. Take DiCaprio, for example: his list of girlfriends over the decades (often much younger) seems to be begging for more to be revealed about him. Despite this, gossip about him is practically non-existent. “He has good friends who he's grown up with all his life,” says author and digital strategist Winter Mitchell. It's these close relationships that help keep people's lives private, Mitchell said. “I have a very good friend who is very famous, and as her friend it's my duty to protect her to some extent,” she says. Mitchell added that when advising this person about revealing her secrets, “I list in her mind who she told.” So if it comes out, you can trace how it came out. ”
The good news is that if keeping a secret is possible for even the most famous among us, it can actually be accomplished by anyone. And for the average person who wants to keep their life modest, the equation seems simple. Keep your mouth shut, eat sparingly, be close to your friends, and keep your housekeeper happy.
This article appears in the February 2024 issue. Town & Country. Subscribe now
Dolly Shafrir is the author of the novel to start and podcast co-host forever 35 and Matt and Dory's Amazing Adventures. She lives in Los Angeles with her family.