Learn social skills in a small town

In my first year at Cradock, in 2007, I joined an informal gymnastics group. I vividly remember a few of us women gathering twice a week in the old mortuary in the cemetery (now the Round Table Clubhouse) and doing gymnastics, sweating gracefully. It felt like a casual conversation was swirling around in my head.

They had all known each other since their school days and conversed in verbal shorthand about mutual friends, juicy gossip, and local issues. I got lost.

My new country friends also seemed to be speaking a new language, a random mix of Afrikaans and English –Sly of tar (affectionately called Graaffrikaans) My partner Chris and I later learned to embrace it.

But at first, it was like watching a Martian soap opera. There's always a lot going on in a small town, and at first you have no idea who most of the characters are, what the storyline is, or how you fit into it.

small area code

So here's some opening advice from Aberdeen resident Lynne Dugmore. “During her first year of her new life in town, keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.”

One of the biggest social differences between the city and Platteland is how strongly interconnected life here is. You may literally meet families who have lived in your new neighborhood for centuries. People are intertwined by blood, marriage, school days, work relationships, friendships, Bible study groups, agricultural cooperatives, and many other mostly invisible ties.

Note that the bank manager's cousin may be the cashier at the bottle store. The gardener's wife's sister may be auditing your accounts. The nice lady at the pharmacy may be married to the truck driver who infuriated you by rumbling and starting his car across the street from your house at an ungodly hour in the morning.

Therefore, especially during the first year, if you have unkind thoughts about others, keep them to yourself. Then repeat the same exercise the following year.

Read more at Daily Maverick: Moving to a Small Town: The Pitfalls of Living in Platteland

please be kind

Jane Zeeman, who moved from George to marry a Willowmore farmer, advises: She should not be patronizing or act with a sense of superiority. Plattelanders are warmer and more forgiving than you might think.

“And there's no reason not to be friends with them,” she added realistically.

It's worth noting that there are few things in life more upsetting than a feud with someone who's depressed. The main reason is that it cannot be avoided. They frequent the same stores, walk the same streets, and frequent the same churches and social gatherings as you. The same goes for their friends and family.

enthusiastic life

The late René Theron spent most of his life working as an electrician in the South African Navy, building ships overseas and serving in Durban and then Cape Town. One day he visited his sister-in-law in Murraysburg.

“I had been looking for an escape to Platland for a long time and when I drove into town I felt peace and knew this was it. It was a great contrast.”

He bought a nice old house in Murraysburg and eventually moved there. Then tragedy struck. Rene was diagnosed with cancer (lymphoma).

But the people of Murraysburg rallied around him, and so did his sister-in-law. Rene (then known throughout the town as “Swally” (affectionately called “brother-in-law”) underwent chemotherapy and the cancer went into remission, but the nerve endings in his legs It caused havoc. He could barely walk, so he trained his two spaniel-Labrador mixes, Boetti and Sassy, to pull him on his bike through quiet streets in the early morning hours. He survived and lived a happy life in Murraysburg for many years, albeit with a slight limp.

Rene gave us some advice on how to get along with the locals in Platteland.

“Some people come to the Karoo because of the romantic scenery, or because they think they can finally have some peace and quiet. But after a few months, they keep turning down invitations. Eventually they stopped coming and became lonely. That's when they returned to the city.

“You need to be involved. If people invite you to do something, whatever it is, just go. You're part of the community, too. If you get a reputation for being aloof, you won't get invited anymore.” .”

He was useful at Murraysburg.

“I have a gift for skilled hands,” Rene said. “So I became Mr. Fixit, but I never asked people for money.”

At a local bar in New Bethesda, about a dozen people are having a conversation going on at the same time. (Photo: Chris Marais)

Prato the Tar

Joe Prentice and her husband Owen moved to Montagu from Cape Town after falling in love with the Little Karoo over many years.

Here are her tips for staying calm:

“Be able to smile and greet everyone in the countryside!” This is the first and most important choice you must make when moving to a Karoo community. It is considered respectful and friendly.someone told me about montague Nick — Especially when driving, give a slight nod in the direction of the person you're greeting.

“If someone invites you to something, whatever it is, just go. You're part of the town, too. If you get a reputation for being aloof, you won't be invited anymore.” – Ah, Murraysburg René Theron loved his days at the. (Photo: Chris Marais)

“Secondly, you will be able to speak the local language. I understood Afrikaans well, but during the 58 years I lived in Cape Town, I rarely spoke Afrikaans. First Barefoot scarm (Ashamedly) I persisted, causing a few good laughs in the process.

“Becoming more fluent in Afrikaans has allowed me to meet people from across the community. My reasoning is: Why should Afrikaans speakers constantly switch to English? I want to respect their language, and I'm the one who moved to the area, so now I'm more and more bilingual.

“Third, learn to give what you have to others: produce, skills, transportation. I am in awe of the generosity of the Montague community, who are always willing to share and care.” I have this feeling.”

“Going to a club'' in the countryside

Depending on the town, various types of social gatherings are commonly held. Cradock has clubs for tennis, rugby, touch rugby, soccer, cricket, river paddlers, runners, jockeys, golf, bowls, mountain biking and racing pigeons (Pozduif) Enthusiasts, Bible studyrs, crocheters and knitters, bridge and canasta players, hunters, gardeners, book lovers, musicians, 4×4 and steam locomotive enthusiasts, and entrails eaters. people.

There used to be a fairly famous Forbidden Society, but it mysteriously disappeared without a trace.

Joining a church of your choice is a great way to meet like-minded people. In addition, there are various agricultural associations, such as the Vroue Landbou Vereeniging (Women's Farming Union), the Round Table, the Rotarians, and the Tourist Association.

You might even find Zumba and line dancing groups in unlikely places like Tarkastad or Betli.

Small towns are full of clubs, where socializing takes place. Whether you're a tennis player, a juku enthusiast, a pigeon fan, or a student of the Bible text, there's a club for you. (Photo: Chris Marais)

Plus, there's an impromptu drop-in party that starts with rooibos tea and ends with wine, free laughter, and uplifting songs. (Photo: Chris Marais)

quilling and sit down

It is wonderful to learn the art of Quilling. This word in Afrikaans is Quiet Literally means “to visit”. But in Platland, the word carries an additional nuance that conveys a thoroughly enjoyable, unrestrained chatter, a taste for slowing down and enjoying conversation with one's companions.

Stomping has become an art in Platteland. (Photo: Chris Marais)

Then there's also the impromptu drop-in party, which begins with rooibos tea and perhaps a polite half-glass of wine, and ends with unrestrained laughter and, often, uplifting songs.

People go to restaurants, it's true quilling It generally happens at home. Almost every house has a braai nook with a suitable chimney. In areas with strong winds, Bleikamer is considered essential.

in Kerkusar People you haven't seen for a while may be spending time calmly. Quiet that's all Lamb ribs veggiesPancakes and Sosati.

quilling It is closely related to one of the best parts of living in this country: striding. The veranda is the perfect place to contemplate the day ahead while wrapping your arms around a soothing cup of coffee or tea. This is also the place to end a hot summer day with something cold.

A five-minute trip to the store can take over an hour because people want to know what's going on.

Once you make friends, interactions at Platteland are generally very casual. No dress up. Your host may greet you wearing sheepskin slippers. You know you've been accepted when you're invited to sit around the kitchen table and cook from the pot or eat from your second-best plate.

And remember not to push it too soon. In the Grand Square, even in restaurants and cafes, people still say “grace” before eating. Kerksars.

Consider it an honor when your host greets you in sheepskin slippers and shows you to a kitchen table lined with the next best crockery. (Photo: Chris Marais)

church cushion

A small but important social danger of living adrift is that people have favorite pews in church, and sitting there will appall them.

Elsa Van Leer, an artist new to Williston, took her granddaughter Bianca to church one Sunday. They initially sat in the back, but decided to move forward, not realizing that they were now in someone's favorite seat. When the enraged locals arrived, they stood there, closing in on them in the walkway, coughing repeatedly until they moved away.

Tip: Beginners are best seated rear The first hymn began. That way others will be seated as well. And never sit on someone else's church cushion. DM

This is an excerpt from Moving to Platland – Living in a small town in South Africa Written by Julienne du Toit and Chris Marais. For an insider's view of migration and small town life in South Africa, visit: Transfer to Platteland and Road Tripper Eastern Cape Karoo (black and white illustrations) by Julienne du Toit and Chris Marais costs just R520 including courier costs in South Africa. Please contact Julie for more information. [email protected]