Siya Kolisi's divorce highlights the strain that fame places on personal relationships, complicating emotional connection and authenticity.
Everything has an opportunity cost, and this week's announcement that Springbok captain Siya Kolisi is divorcing his wife Rachel highlights the challenges that celebrities face when it comes to managing and maintaining personal relationships.
Although a joint statement said the couple's separation was amicable, the pressures of fame and a life in the public eye cannot be underestimated.
Rugby world always wants Kolisi
The World Cup has been a daily struggle for Kolisi and his family since they first lifted the World Cup six years ago.
Kolisi's divorce announcement was made shortly after he returned from France, where he was playing for Racing 92.
The constant travel, high-stakes games, and demands of society appear to have put a considerable strain on his marriage.
Psychologist Dr. Jonathan Redelinghuis says challenges to fame like Kolisi's are subtle but persistent, often accompanied by major changes in lifestyle, the expectations of others, and the accompanying personal challenges. He said it comes from pressure.
“Being a public figure puts added pressure on you, especially in South Africa where sports stars are national symbols.
“You are no longer just an individual. You represent something bigger than yourself.”
“Expectations to always lead by example, always perform, and never show weakness can create tension in any interpersonal relationship, especially if one partner feels like they're not in the spotlight.”
With your profile comes fame. This can be a double-edged sword, according to Lederinghuis. “Egos can be inflated, whether intentionally or not,” he says.
“It can create a dynamic where celebrities are always surrounded by admirers and attention seekers, which makes them feel invincible or above normal relationship problems. You can.
“This change in self-perception can make it difficult to develop the vulnerable and equal partnerships necessary for healthy relationships.”
This includes old friendships made before fame and sometimes family relationships.
Plus, he added, the more famous you become, the harder it becomes to maintain authenticity in your personal relationships.
Also read: Being in the spotlight isn't easy for Siya, Rachel Kolisi
Questions about why partners are attracted to icons
“That often leads to the question of why people are drawn to them. It could be because of who they are as a person, or their high status in society, and of course all the media attention. There is.”
This question is particularly important for Kolisi, who has rapidly risen to fame not only as a world-class athlete but also as a national icon.
“It's not just the fame; it's the constant spotlight, idolization by fans and heightened scrutiny of every aspect of his life,” Rederinghuis said.
“Partners may feel left out or question their place in the relationship, which can create distance over time.”
Jealousy can also be the cause. “Celebrities often surround themselves with the most attractive and charismatic people,” Rederinghuis says.
“Resisting these temptations, and conversely, helping your partner manage their own emotions, requires tremendous emotional strength and self-awareness.”
Also read: Kolisi Shock: A timeline of how Siya and Rachel's marriage unfolded
The role of a difficult upbringing
Kolisi has also often spoken publicly about his childhood trauma, citing post-traumatic stress from growing up in poverty.
He said this in an interview with Wales international Dan Biggar last year. daily mail“I had to go to marriage counseling because I couldn't give everything to my wife. My heart was so broken that I didn't know how to talk to her,” he said.
“In my late 20s, I started talking to someone. The first time I went, she said, 'You're damaged on every level. What you saw is not normal. ”
While fame and success may bring temporary relief, unresolved emotional baggage from earlier years can resurface, especially in intimate relationships.
“It can be unpleasant to come from a poor family and suddenly be thrown into a world of privilege. It can lead to feelings of sufficiency and impostor syndrome.
“Inner conflict between the past and the present can lead to increased stress, which inevitably affects relationships,” Rederinghuis says.
“There's never just one reason why couples break up, and the trappings of public persona come with many challenges.”
Also read: Marriage system under fire
